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MARK L. BAKKE'S
  Created with Allaire HomeSite 4.0 Last Update: 18 Oct 99 Return to "Adultery" essay Back to Philosophy page Please feel free to E-mail me with your own comments on this issue or on anything else included in my Philosophy of Life section. Debate is good!
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REPLY #6 TO
"ADULTERY"
Boldfaced statements are parts of the original essay (or a subsequent reply) to which the respondent has directed his comments.
 Italicized/emphasized comments prefaced by (R) are those of the respondent and are presented unedited. My replies appear under the respondent's comments in blue text and are prefaced by my initials (MB). (R) It seems that you prefer the exception rather than the rule. (MB) Nope. I prefer sense to nonsense. It doesn't matter which one is the current "rule". (R) Its calculated that over 70% of divorces occur because of financial problems, not emotional dersertion. (MB) Whose "calculation" is this? The most divorces are granted for "irreconcilable differences" -- which is a rather broad category that really doesn't have to include anything specific. It's difficult to imagine a divorce where emotional desertion doesn't play a significant role. After all, why would a couple divorce if they were still happy with one another? (R) If someone is being neglected in a marriage, the course of action to take is professional marriage counseling, not adultery. (MB) So, what if counseling fails? One must realize that counseling will only be effective if the parties involved are truly interested in repairing the problem(s) or if they consider that the problem(s) can even be repaired successfully. Also, adultery is not the first, last, or only resort. (R) If the other part is not willing to work on the relationship, then divorce becomes necessary. (MB) Necessary, yes. However, it's not always possible. There are many factors that can preclude divorce as an option. For example, the couple's financial or legal situation, health, ability to live on their own, and children all come into play and can present insurmountable obstacles. In other words, they may be "stuck" with each other. (R) There is no excuse for adultery. (MB) Sure, there is! In fact, at times, it may well be a better solution than dissolving the marriage. In any case, my initial argument was that adultery should not be a legal matter. If anything, it is a matter of personal or social morality. (R) Adultery is simply the ultimate cheaping of one's word. At the altar, a covenant of faithfulness was made. To violate that covenant is to make one's own promises and committments as toilet paper. (MB) You are focusing this argument exclusively on marriages based on religious custom. What about secular marriages or marriages sanctioned by non-Christian religions where the "traditional" Christian vows are not exchanged? How can one violate any covenant when no such covenant exists? (R) Again, two wrongs do not make a right. It is wrong to be relationally deserted, but Adultery is wrong also, because it undermines the value of one's own word. Divorce is justified, not Adultery. (MB) According to the Xian Bible, divorce is only justified in the case of the wife's infidelity. That same Bible also seems to look the other way at adultery given all the Old Testament stories of Kings and their legion of concubines. (R) Adultery is simply juvenile irresponsiblity. (MB) It has yet to be demonstrated that adultery is either juvenile or irresponsible. At best, it is immoral according to one system of belief.
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